319.291.6161 | 3112 Brockway Road, Waterloo, Iowa

It’s common to hear the phrase “giving a baby up” for adoption. But, if you are an expectant mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you should know that choosing adoption for your baby is not giving up — it is giving life. Choosing adoption comes from a place of love, because you want what is best for your child — and you may even know someone in your life who can provide those opportunities and experiences.

If you’re considering adoption, it’s natural to think, “I want my friend to adopt my baby in Iowa.” You know that you want your child to be loved and cared for, so you need to choose someone to adopt your baby that you trust. Having a friend adopt your baby in Iowa can sometimes be the best way to do that.

If you are considering how to give your child up for adoption to a friend in Iowa, there are a couple things you should know. But before we dive into what’s involved in the adoption process and the important questions you should consider, remember that the Nelson Law Firm can help.

Our dedicated team can work with you if you want a friend to adopt your baby. Our attorneys can explain all the legal steps of this process to ensure you are making the right decision for you, your friend and, most importantly, your baby. Call our law firm at 319-291-6161 to learn more.

How Do I Give My Child up for Adoption to a Friend in Iowa?

The adoption process can be complex. After all, there are a lot of steps to completing a successful adoption.

Any adoption — whether a friend wants to adopt your baby or you work with an adoption agency — involves a lot of legal work that must be handled carefully. This is a very important process, and it makes a big impact on the lives of everyone involved. You want to make sure your adoption is done right, and working with a qualified attorney like attorney Ken Nelson is important.

While the process of having a friend adopt your baby in Iowa is not quite the same as adoption with a family found through an agency, there are some important parts of the process that every adoption plan adheres to.

  • Exchanging Documentation: In most cases, you’ll need to exchange medical and social histories when giving a baby up for adoption to a friend in Iowa. If you work with the Nelson Law Firm for your adoption, we’ll be able to assist you in this process. It’s common for your adoption attorney to collect and maintain the necessary documents, as these may need to be reviewed at a later date. Remember, your personal information will never be shared with anyone without your permission.
  • Home Study: An adoption home study is a review of the potential adoptive family’s home, lifestyle and adoption readiness by a licensed social worker. The process involves a background check, review of documents, in-home visits and interviews. The social worker’s job is to make an accurate assessment of whether or not the parents are prepared for adoption and capable of providing a safe, secure home for a child. Even if you are giving a baby up for adoption to a close friend, they will still need to complete an adoption home study. The Nelson Law Firm would be happy to make a referral to a local professional for your friend’s adoption home study service.
  • Hospital Plan: Any expectant mother choosing adoption will create a hospital plan at the beginning of the adoption process. This simply means choosing where you would like to give birth and how you would like the adoptive parents to interact with you and the baby during this time. If you are having a friend adopt your baby in Iowa, setting the guidelines for this interaction can be much easier with your established level of friendship and trust. Once you have given birth, Iowa requires a 72-hour waiting period before you can give official consent for the adoption. Attorney Ken Nelson will guide you through this legal process when you are ready.
  • Adoption Finalization: After a child has been placed with the adoptive family, your friend will still need to finalize your adoption in Iowa. The adoptive parent’s attorney will file an adoption petition with the court to begin this process. After post-placement visits have been completed, the family will go before a judge at a finalization hearing. As a birth mother, you will not be required to attend this hearing, although you certainly can if you wish to be a part of this process.

Questions to Ask if You Want a Friend to Adopt Your Baby in Iowa

There’s plenty to consider when making the decision to place a child with a friend, beyond just understanding the steps involved in the adoption process. Choosing adoption will change your life and the life of your child. Take time to think over all of your options and consider requesting a consultation to learn more about the legal process of this unplanned pregnancy path.

These are some of the questions you may want to ask yourself.

Do I Want to Know My Child’s Parents?

Choosing an adoptive family can be one of the most difficult parts of the adoption process for an expectant mother. You want what is best for your baby, and you don’t want to take any risks. Having a friend adopt your baby makes complete sense — because you know and trust him or her. You can be confident they will love and care for your baby.

However, this adoption relationship also comes with inherent challenges. Unlike most open adoption situations, you’ll be very close to your child’s parents from the beginning. This can change your relationship with your friend before, during and after the adoption process by creating uniquely difficult, emotional situations to navigate.

Am I Prepared to Avoid Co-Parenting?

One of those situations will be the urge to co-parent. It’s very important to remember that the adoptive parent is the primary caretaker for your baby. No matter how close you are to them, they will always have the final say in how your child is raised. If you give a baby up for adoption to a friend in Iowa, it will be important to maintain boundaries that protect everyone involved in the adoption. Roles can easily become blurred and confused in an identified adoption, so you’ll want to be on the same page with the adoptive parents about expectations from the very beginning.

How Will I Talk to My Child About My Decision?

Any child who comes home through adoption has questions. As they begin to form their own self-identity and wonder about their story, they’ll want to know why their birth parents chose adoption. If your friend adopts your baby, you will most likely be in an especially open situation where you can answer this question directly. This can be a great opportunity to tell your child about how your decision was made out of love, but this can also be a difficult question to face from your daughter or son directly.

The Nelson Law Firm Can Assist Your Adoption

Whether you choose to find a family through an agency or decide you want a friend to adopt your baby, Nelson Law Firm can help you. An adoption lawyer is always needed to complete all of the legal steps and offer legal guidance as you navigate the complex process, and attorney Ken Nelson offers experience and compassion for all birth parents who work with him.

To start your adoption today, please contact the Nelson Law Firm.

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