“Whenever I meet with potential birth mothers, I try to put them at ease and ensure they’re comfortable with their decision,” Ken Nelson says. “I always let them know that they are in charge and in control.”
When learning of an unplanned pregnancy, some women are reluctant to consider “giving a baby up” for adoption. They may see this option as giving up on their baby, giving up on a relationship with their child, or giving up control of the situation by placing it in an adoption professional’s or adoptive family’s hands.
But these women are often surprised to find that by placing a baby for adoption, they can actually gain control of their situation and their baby’s future.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, here’s what you really need to know about “giving up” a baby for adoption.
You are not giving up control of your situation — you are gaining a voice in the process.
In the past, pregnant mothers were often pressured to choose adoption for unborn babies. Sometimes, these women were even sent away to deliver in secret. They had very few choices in the process and often didn’t know where their baby ended up or who their child’s adoptive parents were.
Fortunately, this is not how modern adoption works. Now, adoption gives prospective birth mothers the opportunity to make a proactive plan for their baby’s future. In fact, if you are considering placing a baby for adoption, you will have full control over nearly every aspect of the adoption process, including:
- Your adoption professional
- The adoption services you need
- The living expenses you need during pregnancy
- Your baby’s adoptive family
- The contact you want to have with your child and the adoptive parents
- And more
By making these important decisions, you can not only make a proactive plan for your baby’s future — you can also choose the type of future you want for yourself.
You are not giving up on your baby — you are gaining opportunities for him or her.
Great mothers want to provide their children with every possible opportunity in life — and adoption can be a wonderful way to do that. If you are considering placing baby for adoption, you are making the most selfless and loving choice a mother can make to provide your child with the type of future you want for him or her.
Do you picture your baby in a two-parent home? Do you envision him or her living in a rural environment, a big house, a home with lots of pets or a large extended family? Do you want your child to have the opportunity to travel, enroll in certain activities, or earn a college education?
By giving your baby up for adoption, you can choose the perfect adoptive parents to make any of these dreams a reality.
You are not giving up on contact with your child — you are gaining the opportunity for lifelong relationships.
While adoptions in the past were often closed, the vast majority of today’s adoptions are open or semi-open, meaning birth parents stay in regular contact with their child and the adoptive family after placement. You may be able to exchange pictures and letters, phone calls, emails and text messages, and even have in-person visits with your child and his or her adoptive parents. Each situation varies
Whatever type of relationship you want to have with your baby after placement, Ken Nelson can help you plan and manage your communication with the adoptive family you choose.
How to Place a Child for Adoption in Iowa
As you can see, the real question isn’t what you give up by choosing adoption for your baby — it’s what you have to gain. Whether you are considering adoption because you want to provide your baby with a better life, continue pursuing your goals, or simply because you aren’t ready to be a parent at this time in your life, adoption is a loving decision that can have a positive affect for you and your child.
If you believe adoption might be the right choice for you and your baby, here’s how to place a baby for adoption in Iowa:
- Contact Ken for free adoption information. Regardless of where you live in Iowa, Ken will speak to you and, if requested, meet you in person, answer your questions, and explain the adoption process — free of charge and with no obligation. You will never be pressured to choose adoption; Ken is just there to explain your legal rights and help you understand your options.
- Create an adoption plan. If you choose to move forward with adoption, Ken will work with you to understand your specific circumstances and needs, including the services you want during the adoption process, your relationship with your baby’s birth father, the type of adoptive family you are looking for, and more.
- Find an adoptive family. If you haven’t already found adoptive parents for your baby, Ken can introduce you to hopeful parents or refer you to an agency for additional matching services.
- Plan your hospital stay. When it is time for your baby to be born, Ken will help you make a plan so you know what to expect during your hospital stay. He will guide you through the document-signing process before and after your baby’s birth and ensure you understand your legal rights.
- Stay in touch with your child. Ken can work with you and the adoptive family to help you reach a post-placement contact agreement that you are both comfortable with. While these agreements are not legally enforceable in Iowa, Ken can help facilitate your relationship and refer you to a social worker or agency for additional contact mediation services.
Remember that through each step of this process, you are in charge and in control.
If you are ready to gain control of your situation and your baby’s future, you can contact Nelson Law Firm at any time during your pregnancy to explore your adoption options. Your call is confidential and does not obligate you to proceed with adoption.